Who’s the Boss?

Wife, husband, parent, child… who is the boss? Some may say the husband because he is the man of the house! Some might say the wife because “if she ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!” Others would boldly declare the parents because they are the ones that make the rules and they are the ones that need to enforce them too. And some might say the children because their attitude runs the show and decides where and for how long the family might go somewhere. All of these are correct to an extent, but the biggest shocker is that none of these are the boss. Each of these individuals have to work together. The husband and the wife have to work together to be able to provide a loving and positive home life for themselves and their children. Children need to work with the parents to establish and maintain rules, a clean home, and a positive loving environment where everyone feels included and loved.

By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners (Proclamation to the World).

This is how parents, husband and wife, work together to keep the home happy and working smoothly. At times, one needs to jump in and help the other out with their role, but really, this is the best scenario for a happy, loving home.

In my family right now, my husband does a great job of presiding, providing, and protecting. He takes great joy and understands his responsibility to fulfill these roles, but at the same time he is also taking care of some of my nurturing roles. As I am in school and need time to study while our children are still awake at night, he does a great job of playing with them, bathing them, and putting them to bed sometimes without my help. He hasn’t complained once about needing to step in to this role or about the extra work it is requiring on his part while he is alone with our three very active boys at night. He knows it won’t be forever and seems to enjoy the time with just him and his boys most nights. I am grateful that he is willing to jump in and not stick with the traditional outlook of how a family should run 100% of the time because it just doesn’t work like it should 24/7, 365 days a year.

Sometimes a husband may believe that his role as head of the house gives him a right to be exacting and to arbitrarily prescribe what his wife should do. But in a home established on a righteous foundation, the relationship of a man and a woman should be one of partnership. A husband should not make decrees. Rather, he should work with his wife until a joint decision palatable to both is developed (H. Burke Peterson, Ensign, July 1989, p. 9).

I LOVE this quote because it is what I wish for all marriages to have. My husband and I aren’t perfect at making joint decisions, but we are definitely getting better with practice! This just helps me realize that I can’t be exacting or make decrees for the rest of the family to follow either. We are a team, a partnership, and both of our needs and desires need to be represented and cared about.