No More Arguing Over In-laws

Money and in-laws, could there be any two more daunting topics to discuss at the same time? For a lot of couples all over the world, both of these can create marriage discord or at least a good argument that will last a couple of hours to a couple of days. But wouldn’t it be great to know that there is a better way to deal with both? You don’t need to get into arguments over these topics and actually both can be beneficial and wonderful in your life. For now, we’ll just focus on the in-laws.

I’m one of the really lucky ones because I absolutely LOVE my in-laws. They are probably the best people that I could have ever imagined. I even joke with my husband that his parents love me more than him, which I think might be a little true. If he needs to speak with his mother and she isn’t answering when he calls, I hand him my phone because 90% of the time, even if she didn’t answer his call, she answers mine. Also if we both have called, she always calls me back first. I also love that fact that even though his dad and I have a hard time communicating, we get a long great! He is always ready to play a game of dominoes with me or listen to my broken Spanish attempts at stories. And vice versa. I will play a game with him anytime and will listen to his broken English attempts at stories he wants to share. These two, along with all of the many brothers and sisters-in-law that I have bring my life joy and fulfillment.

I think that one of the things that helped my relationship with my in-laws in the beginning was that they didn’t always just want to talk to my husband. They would call his phone, but if I threw in a “hello!” while they were talking, they were suddenly wanting to speak with me and see how I was doing and what was new in my life. This made me think of them more as my own mother and father and not just my husband’s parents. In the article Creating Healthy Ties With In-laws by James Harper and Susanne Olsen states,

“Parents who try to create a climate of safety in which children can express their feelings about how involved they want to be will have the greatest potential for positive influence in their children’s and grandchildren’s lives.”

I think this is so true! My in-laws were very easy going, but wanted us to know that they would like to be involved with important events in our lives and with holidays was very much appreciated and it made us want to spend more time with them.