Marriage is Ordained

Have you ever wondered how many members are in your marriage? Probably not. You probably are thinking this is a dumb question. Obviously there are two, but are you sure you’re counting everyone? If you’re religious, you’ll probably agree that there are actually three. You, your spouse, and God. Personally, I’m grateful that there is another member in my marriage. Having God be a part of my marriage helps me to know that there are always at least two people rooting and working hard for my marriage to succeed. In The Family: A Proclamation to the World, the first sentence reads

“WE, THE FIRST PRESIDENCY and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God.”

This is how I know that God is rooting alongside me for my marriage to succeed.

In the book Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage, by H. Wallace Goddard, PH.D, the first chapter is even titled The Plan: “Marriage is Ordained of God.” If you’re not Christian, then you might not like this book as much as I do, but I, being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, am a Christian, and found this material very helpful and insightful. We all know that marriage is hard, and one of the quotes I really liked from the very beginning says,

“One things is sure. God did not design marriage as a retirement village where we sunbathe, work the buffet, and play golf. When God ordained marriage, He had loftier and more demanding purposes in mind.”

This is so true! Have you ever thought to yourself, man… marriage is a lot easier than I thought it’d be? Probably not, nor will you because marriage is hard and it’s something you must work at constantly.

When my husband and I first got married, we were probably like most other couples who thought we will always be happy, marriage will be easy because we haven’t come across a problem that we can’t solve easily together, and we are in love… what else matters? Well… quickly we found out that a lot else mattered. After we had been married for about four months I became pregnant with our first son. We were so happy at the idea of beginning not just a marriage, but a family! Then the hormones and mood swings kicked in from pregnancy and I was not the same person I was a few months before. Our whole marriage changed because I could no longer rationalize things like I did before, I couldn’t remember things like I had before, I couldn’t sleep, but was always tired, I would occasionally cry for no reason, and I would often feel alone when my husband would be gone for long hours at a time. I could feel that things were not the same, but we were so happy to be having a baby… how could I feel like this? It took a while, but we finally found a new rhythm and were able to get along pretty well. Then 13 months after my first son was born I became pregnant with our second son and we had similar issues that we had to work through. After two children, I thought we should be good with anything that gets thrown at us because it seems as though we have had to cope with a lot of changes and stresses that nothing can really throw us for a loop now. Then, 13 months after having our second son… I found out I was pregnant again with our third son and once again everything I thought about our marriage was messed up again. Clearly, God had more demanding purposes in mind for us then just golfing and eating. Thankfully, He also was and still is willing to help us work through whatever challenges come our way.

I think one of the reasons that He has such a valued interest is because we are His children and He is trying to care for us, just like we are to care for our children. In The Proclamation, it says,

“HUSBAND AND WIFE have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children.”

 This is why marriage is so important! This is why we need to make it work! It is our solemn responsibility! I think because this is such a huge responsibility we should take all the help we can get!